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You

Published: 21.11.2013 @ 17:08 Category: Text Replies: 0

I have always wanted you. Since I saw your face and your eyes for the first time. "You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody's one and only," Anne Frank said. I can't describe it any better. You are the only one who can make me truly happy right now. I think we love each other, just not at the same time. You are still in love with her, I am just here. I am here to support you, through your heartbreak, through something that I've been through myself. But you still love her, and I am still number two. It feels like I will always be. It makes me feel even more like a nobody than when I actually was. Maybe I should just leave, let you be.
Maybe it isn't our time now. I guess you will never look at me the way you look at her. I wish we could fit each other, that you could love me right now like the way I love you. I wish you could see me the way as I see you. I wish you would fight for me like I fight for you. I wish you could cry right now like I am crying for you. What literally hurts me the most, what kills me every evening, what kills me right now, is that you walk away when I open up for you. Why is it like that? How can you change like that? Is it meant to be that I am supposed to go through this shit? I cannot even describe it, to be a number two. It's really hard to wait around for something I know will never happen, but it's so much harder to give up when I know that you are all I want.

Text by Martine Sorthe

One and only

Published: 28.10.2013 @ 20:49 Category: Text Replies: 4

 

"You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody's one and only" -Anne Frank




Afraid

Published: 15.10.2013 @ 17:47 Category: Text Replies: 0

I hope you never see me the way I see myself. It's not that I feel ugly or feel like a badgirl or something, it's just that I don't feel good enough. And I don't want you to see me as a zero, as a girl that doesn't know who she is, a girl that doesn't know where she is going. I'm caught between who I am and who I want to be. 

I've told it once, and I tell it twice. I can't find myself, I struggle so hard to be someone I want to be, someone I like, I struggle to laugh, I struggle to be happy and to find people who bring out the best in me, not someone I have to bring the best out for. The thing is that it should come naturally, but it doesn't. It's all because of this negative circle that I'm living in, it sucks the positive energy out of me. I guess I'm depressed in some kind of way, and i really hate to say it, but I'm also afraid. 

Afraid to love or get loved. Love scares me. I let guys touch me, I really do, but nothing more. I am closed, I pretend to be a happy, smiling girl with a lot of confidence, just because that's what boys love, but the real thing is that I'm not a confident girl at all. And I won't let the guys know. It's been a long time since a boy touched me in another way than touching my body. Maybe I'm the type of girl that likes things that are concrete, like the ocean. Something I can point to and know what it is. I think that's why I struggle with love. I can't touch it. I can't hold on to it and make sure it never change. That's kind of what I'm afraid of too, change.

I hate it, because it brings me out of my comfort zone. And when I get out of my comfort zone, I get afraid, and I love my confident, and it all makes me sad. The worst thing about being sad is that you don't even know what makes you happy anymore. I have no idea of who what brings out the best in me and who that doesn't. I sometimes wonder why I met exactly that boy to that time, why I got hurt by people right there in that moment and why it happens with me in that second. I guess there will always be a reason why you meet people and why stuff happens with you. Either you need them to change your life or you're the one that will change theirs.

 

Text by Martine Sorthe

 

Believe in your fucking self

Published: 16.09.2013 @ 21:42 Category: Text Replies: 0

 

 

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Forever friendship

Published: 08.09.2013 @ 19:31 Category: Text Replies: 1

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will. Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship.

When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend hold your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

 







I LOVE YOU ♥


Me

Published: 02.09.2013 @ 18:30 Category: Text Replies: 6

Jeg tror kanskje ikke jeg har vært veldig åpen om meg selv på bloggen. Hovedsaklig vil jeg ikke at dette skal være en blogg med detaljer om meg og mitt liv, men jeg tenkte jeg kanskje kunne skrive noe for at dere skal få et lite inntrykk av hvem som skriver bloggen du leser. Jeg tenker. veldig. mye. Altfor mye egentlig. Jeg har så utrolig mye jeg vil fram til, og så mye jeg vil dele, men jeg klarer bare ikke å finne de riktige ordene for å uttrykke meg. Er det noe jeg skulle ønske jeg var flinkere til, så er det det. Så før jeg begynner med mine dype, seriøse eller kanskje morsomme innlegg med masse tekst - her er meg:

Jeg heter Elise Johnsen Pedersen. Eller Hulken om du vil. Egentlig er hele hulken-greia teit og ganske sær, men litt kult da. Jeg er født den 7. mars og er 16 år. Jeg har vokst opp med skilte foreldre og to søstre som ikke bor hjemme lenger, eller hun ene kommer hjem om et år, tror jeg. Jeg har en hest som jeg steller med helt alene. Han heter Brisco og er en nydelig varmblodshest. Ingen i familien bryr seg så veldig om han, bortsett fra min lille, altfor søte niese på 4 år som sier "min og tante sin hest". Ellers har jeg kjørt aktivt alpint så lenge jeg kan huske, og det er noe som har og betyr ekstremt mye for meg. Jeg har trossalt brukt 4-5 dager hver eneste uke i maange år på det, så det er ingen tvil om at det har vært noe av det største i livet mitt. Selvom jeg sluttet. 

En oppdatert person, det er jeg. Det er vel ikke veldig rart når halvparten av dagen går til sosiale medier både på iphone og mac. Jeg er en av de avhengige typene som absolutt ikke klarer å være borte fra internett i flere dager. Det er vel derfor jeg skaffet meg en blogg tror jeg, for at alle de timene jeg bruker på å sitte på ræva eller ligge i sofan/senga ikke skulle være totalt bortkastet. At jeg faktisk kunne uttrykke meg selv på en slags måte og dele ting med andre, i stedet for å sitte og proppe i seg masse unødvendig informasjon om andre mennesker. Egentlig sånn som du som leser dette gjør om meg nå. 

Jeg er gal etter å bruke penger. Og da mener jeg virkelig GAL!! Jeg husker jeg fikk 6000kr til bursdagen min for mange år siden. Jeg er ganske sikker på at det ikke gikk mer enn én måned før alle pengene var brukt på bare dritt og tull. Jeg var liten da, men etter det har jeg aldri klart å spare noe særlig med penger. Nå som jeg går på skole med kantine og som har 3-5 minutters gange til byen, har det ikke blitt særlig bedre heller. Så hvis det er noen mulige sponsorer som gjerne vil sponse meg bil, hus, klær, mat osv, sier jeg ja takk. Tulla. 

Egentlig er det ikke mye spesielt å si om meg. Jeg er glad i å ta bilder (selvom jeg har altfor masse å lære), jeg er glad i å tegne, glad i å være oppdatert i moteverden, se på serier, dra på kafé, være med venner, reise osv. Akkurat som alle andre. Jeg gikk ikke veldig, veldig mye inn i detaljer nå, men hvis det er noe du lurer på, så er det for all del bare å spørre



Stop hoping for it

Published: 31.08.2013 @ 12:22 Category: Text Replies: 2

You're not single because you're single. It's not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It's not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser.

You're not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the movie theatre. You're not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It's not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you're happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you.

You're not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You're not single because half the world found out when you didn't even want to remember it yourself. You're not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It's not because you're not willing to put up with someone who doesn't brush their teeth on a regular basis.

You're not single because your standards are too high. Good for you having standards. It's not because you didn't like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren't feeling it. And it's not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You're not single because you didn't learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You're not single because something is wrong with you. 

You are single because you are single. It's really as simple as that. You haven't made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it's going to remain that way until it's time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don't have. There will come a time you'll meet a boy and you'll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now. 
 

Why You're Single by Amanda Crute


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